When you want someone to care
                          as much as you do.....
 Rev. Judith L. Guasch, M.Div.
                          Wedding Officiant

Serving S. Central PA, MD DC
                           (717) 222-9173 
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Break the Barriers!

         Now more than ever, today’s couples are breaking the old gender barriers within their wedding parties.  Take, for example,  the 2008 movie “Made of Honor” starring Patrick Dempsey & Michelle Monaghan.  He’s her best friend, and when she decides to get married, she asks him to be her Maid of Honor.  Of course, being a product of Hollywood, he figures out he’s really in love with her, and so the movie takes off on its adventures from there.

 

            But in real life, many gals have a best friend  who just happens to be male, and many guys have best friends who just happen to be female.  So why should this place of honored friendship be decided upon strictly based upon gender?  They don’t!!  This not only applies to the Honor Attendants…. but what about the his sister, shouldn’t she be able to stand with the him on his special day?  Shouldn’t the her brother be able to stand with her?  Today's "Bridal Party" should truly reflect you, and those relationships you hold close. 



              That's exactly what this couple did!  They only had two attendants ..... the bride's brother stood with her, and the groom's sister stood with him.   

Notice how in this wedding, the groomswoman is wearing a black cocktail dress to coordinate with the groomsmen, while the bridesmaides are all in a deep plum with tangerine sashes.

 




           
And let’s not forget the most time-honored gender barrier, of the bride’s father “giving her away”.  Today’s couples often don’t even use the terminology of “giving away” but prefer to use “escort.”  So why should the your escort be limited to your father?  It doesn’t.  In fact, if you are close to both dad and mom, why not have them BOTH escort you?  If dad isn’t around, why should you be limited to asking a male relative you may not even know very well?  Why can’t you ask her mother to escort her?  She can!  That's exactly what this bride did. 


            And to take it a step further, why can’t a little girl carry rings?  One of my favorite way to include children of any age in the processional is to have them serve as “bell ringers”.  Reflective of the renaissance era, bell ringers are children who ring crystal or brass bells, and call out “The wedding is about to begin!” as they walk down the aisle.  This eliminates the pressure to select ONE child to be ring bearer, and ONE child to be flower girl.  Not only that, but it’s a fun way to begin your wedding.  These children don’t need special attire, they can just wear their favorite dress, or sweater and pants.  Once they come up the aisle, they can sit with their parents, or other adult.

 

            Just remember, this is YOUR wedding.  Choose the people you want to be with you in whatever capacity you choose, and disregard the old gender barriers!