Maybe other options for an Officiant have crossed your mind, "why don't we ask Uncle Phil or wacky college roommate Kate? They know us, they'll make it personal."
RETHINK THAT, and here's why:
Essentially, you'll give yourself another job, because neither you nor your friend know how to do this. Sure you might be able to grab a few things off the internet, but at the end of the day, it may not even be legal.
Your ceremony might be short and sweet, but it has a lot of moving parts, from beginning to end. Ask yourself:
~~ Can your friend write, not just a technical item, or something fun, but can they write a cohesive ceremony?
~~ Does your friend (or you, since your friend will expect you to assist to a large degree with this process) even know what needs to be included in a wedding ceremony in order for it to be legal?
~~ Because your friend will expect you to assist with the ceremony, among everything else you are doing for your special day, now you’ve just given yourself one of the most stressful jobs there is in all of wedding planning!! Do you REALLY want that job?
~~ Does your FRIEND even want to be doing this, or did they just say YES to be polite. I get calls at least a dozen times a year to fill in for friends who have said yes, and then get cold feet as the day approaches. Some are so stressed by this that they don’t even attend the wedding, and friendships are broken because of it. Is that your goal?
~~ Public speaking is the NUMBER ONE fear (after death). Even if your friend can write a ceremony, that may or may not be legal, can they actually deliver it in a respectful and joyful manner for both of you as well as your guests?
See below review
"Rev. Judith Guasch was great!! She made our ceremony unique and personalized to us. All the guests loved how different it was from other weddings they have been too and she kept them intrigued to watch the whole ceremony. They especially liked that you could feel what she was saying and it had meaning when she talked. They didn't feel like she was just reading like at other weddings. ….." ~~~Wedding Wire Review
~~ Does your friend have even the first clue as to what to do when things go wrong? Aside from writing the ceremony, an Officiant is often a problem solver on the day of the wedding, everything from fainting bridal party members, to missing rings (YES, I carry extras), to broken sand ceremony items. A true professional knows how to handle your crisis without missing a beat.
~~ Does your friend understand how to complete the paperwork so that at the end of the day your marriage is legal? This is a BIG issue. The couple in the below review spent tens of thousands of dollars on a large wedding with nearly 200 guests, only to have a small elopement ceremony at the end of the night with their parents present.
“Rev. Judith was a life saver at our wedding! We actually had a different officiant who ‘married’ us at our first ceremony with all of our guests. He is my husband's uncle and had traveled from Florida to Pennsylvania for our wedding. They left shortly after the ceremony to start heading back home, and several hours later, we realized that we had forgotten to have him sign our marriage license! We contacted Rev. Judith who fortunately was able to come out and marry us on the spot...again! It was pretty late at night, and she was there within 15 minutes. She is amazing, and I would recommend her to anyone. I cannot thank her enough for what she did for us on our wedding day!" ~~~Wedding Wire Review
~~ A professional knows what is needed seamlessly coordinate your ceremony with other professionals, such as letting the photographer know when that special moment with your mom might come up since it will only last a fraction of a second.
BOTTOM LINE: You are spending a lot of money on your wedding day. Why would you want to cheap out on the only thing that matters and have the highlight of the day be awful?
If there is no way to change your mind on this, I can help. Check out the Ceremony Concierge Service page.
Copyright © 2007-2022 Rev. Judith L. Guasch, M.Div. Wedding Officiant - All Rights Reserved.